I have an entry in a new book called TwitterTitters that is published today on the web publishing site Lulu in aid of Comic Relief. The story is a monologue entitled The Big White Telephone, which is the story of two girls and one toilet cubicle (easy, no, not that) in a nightclub in what I suppose is Margate in about 1990. It contains expletives, vomit and general filth.

The book is £4.99 to download or £9.00 for a print edition. It was all organised and commissioned on the hip new social networking site Twitter, where you can now follow me and every inane thought I may have. The book also contains new material from Dave Spikey, Nat Coombs and Sid Vicious*. I never ever watch Comic Relief on TV, as I cannot stand it. But I won’t judge you if you do. Honest.

*this is an outright lie.